I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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