well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
