The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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