Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
