This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
