i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
