also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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