Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
