i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
