just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
