A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
