Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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