Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The maid of honor just puked.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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