drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think my tv is drunk
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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