Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
