Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
