When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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