Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
