I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
