He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
