I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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