so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
