He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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