I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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