his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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