Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
