I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
