If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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