Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
