I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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