I must be too annoying 4 u.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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