chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize