why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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