I think i peed on brittanys purse
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dicks are not precious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize