Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
