remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
