What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
