Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
