i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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