I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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