that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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