goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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