Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he thought i was a dude.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
