i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
