His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
