She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
