If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
