Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My bed smells like the plague
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
