do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
