You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
