the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
