He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize