hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize