tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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