He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
