My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Of course I have a pirate flag
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
