STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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