Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
