I can feel you judging me through the phone.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
