so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
