I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
